Too many people want to soak up praise for the good but deny responsibility for the bad. It cannot go both ways. You can’t take credit if you can’t be held responsible.
If you put in work and you get positive results, you deserve credit for that. But if you screw up or you’re slacking, you can’t suddenly distance yourself from the outcome.
A person who can’t accept responsibility for his wrongs or for his shortcomings is a coward. And the thing with cowards is they’re not in control.
When people shift blame for their decisions or failures to other people and things, their goal is to weasel their way from center stage, to maintain a flawless record. And depending on how convincing the story is, some people may let them off the hook.
But at the end of the day, it hurts those who are avoiding responsibility more than anyone, because it’s like signing a waiver that says, I’m powerless.
When I don’t publish on this site like I should, I’m not going to blame work, family, fatigue or anything else. I’m going to own the fact that I didn’t do what I set out to do. The reason why is secondary. It’s a point for personal reference. And while I may make a mental note that I allowed X,Y, or Z to interfere with my plan, the key words are “I allowed.”
The reason I’m so adamant to own my mistakes and my shortcomings is because I have it engraved in my mind that I control the circumstances of my life. The circumstances do not control me.
I am responsible for each and every choice that I make. Period.
Otherwise, if I put the blame on time, work, or other people, as if I have no control over those things today, how will I control them the next day? Or the next?
And, if I’m not in control, I can’t take credit for my wins any more than a lottery winner can. Those are just instances where the stars lined up the right way at the right time.
If you want to succeed at something, start by accepting that you’re in control, and own your outcomes. Don’t worry about blame and fault and red marks on your record. Taking full responsibility for all of your results puts you in a position to make changes when you need to.
But if you’re a fuck-up and a failure and you claim you’re not responsible for that, then your case is hopeless because you’re just a fuck-up and a failure, and there’s nothing you can do about it.