One of the best things about self-confidence is that you don’t need it. You can suffer from a lack of self-confidence and still do perfectly fine.
I know that may be hard to believe. I know it’s not the message a lot of people are preaching, but I promise you it’s true.
Confidence is an accessory. It’s like owning a television or having air conditioning in your car. It’s one of those things that seems so normal that we mistake it as a necessity.
If you want to write, design, photograph, or do anything else, you do not need self-confidence.
You need determination. And determination is just a firm decision to do something and see it through.
Sure, being confident makes the ride more pleasant but it’s not a requirement to get started or to continue.
Self-confidence determines how well you believe you do a particular thing. And, it affects how you think you’ll rank or be rated when you’re finished.
Self-confidence actually has very little to do with getting things accomplished, except when you allow lack of it to stand in your way.
How many people can honestly say they felt self-confident the first time they had sex? But the deed was done. The world kept spinning. And most of us kept on humping.
We need to follow that same course with our work. If you let lack of self-confidence hold you back, you’re giving in to an excuse. And it’s not a very good one.
Doing things gets you much further than feeling confident about what you can do.
A few months ago, I was talking to someone in my network about his music, or actually about the fact that he wasn’t making any.
Recently, he contacted me again to let me know he just completed the first music project he’s done in a few years.
“So what was holding you back all that time?” I asked.
“Mostly it was lack of self-confidence,” he told me.
Turns out he didn’t need confidence. All he needed was to decide what he was going to do and then to do it. And after he did that, he wrote a song and shot a video.
And that’s what’s important—getting things done.
The Curse of Having Self-Confidence
And here’s another thing– some people are better off without self-confidence because it can, and often does, have drawbacks.
For starters, self-confidence often leads people to feel entitled. So, when they do something and don’t get the results they want, many of them will quit because they believe they’ve been cheated or there’s something wrong with the process.
When you lack self-confidence but you’re determined, you’re more likely to keep playing even if you lose. You’re expecting to have to work your way up.
Self-confidence also makes some people cocky. And that leads them to sabotage their own results because they think they’re so good they don’t have to practice and train or allow proper time for the task. They overestimate themselves and underestimate others. In the end, that’s their downfall.
When you lack self-confidence but you’re determined, you’re more likely to recognize competition, focus on improving, and to be vigilant about how you do things.
Being self-confident doesn’t give you skills. Doing things gives you skills.
Being self-confident doesn’t lead to success. Doing things leads to success.