Putting Business Before Family & Friends

My Family & Friends,

We’re in a phase where I’m going to neglect you, or at least that’s what some of you will believe. We’re in a phase where there will be things you want me to do to, things you believe I should do, but it’s not going to happen.

The fact is, I can’t right now.

Every day and most of its hours, I’m focused on building a bigger, better and stronger me. That may sound selfish and self-absorbed. But you know that’s not me so there has to be another reason. And I’ll tell you what it is.

Right now, I have a string of goals that lead to a vision. I’m not going to take time to explain it and I’m not accepting opinions about  it. But what I’ll tell you is that the picture includes a bigger and better us.

Any love and happiness I brought to you in the past, I want to multiply it and give you more in the future. Any help or anything you’ve given me, I want to be in a position to return it plus some if you ever call on me or look like you need a hand.

To do that, I have to grow and I have to build, and now is the time is the time for me to do that.

My hunger is real. My hustle motivation is off its chain. And all of my focus is on doing what I need to do to get where I’m trying to go.

I did not choose this, but I won’t interrupt it. What I will do is be honest and direct—because you know that is me—and I’ll tell you this isn’t my time for fun, for leisure or for celebratory occasions.

To hit pause every time you want me to do something then try to pick up where I left off will not work. It’s like driving at 75 mph and deciding to take my hands off the wheel and look away for just one moment. The risk is high.

“Women are strong. We can do it all. But not always at the same time.”

Diane von Furstenberg

I read that quote in W magazine in 2012, and I’ve never forgotten it.

I  still am what I’ve always been to you–mother, lover, sister, cousin or friend–but most of my resources including time, attention and money will be swallowed by this process.

I will do what I can and step away when I can, but only if doing so does not interfere with my program. I will not be taking breaks to participate or be marked present simply because that’s what you want or expect.

This is not a petty test of you over that or that over you. And I hope you’re never tempted to reduce it to that.

This is a moment that must run its course for the greater good. It’s not forever but it is for now.

I love you to no end. And I hope you understand, I can’t right now.


This is a sincere open letter to the people in my life because I’ve reached a point where I feel it’s needed. A lot of people get caught up in the goals, neglect their relationships and let the outcome be whatever it may. The people in my life deserve better than that.

If you’re reading this because you can relate to where I am, the people in your life probably deserve better too.

Hopefully, this will encourage you to say what needs to be said. Maybe you  can even use it as a template to tell your loved ones that you have to put business first for a while.

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